Can I Get You A Coffee?

On the way back from lunch today, I walked past a horrible woman who barked an epic coffee order at her boyfriend, crammed a couple bucks into his sweaty hand and shoved him through the door of a Starbucks.  I’ve decided that if someone does you the favor of picking up coffee, there are certain etiquette rules that one must follow.

Here’s what I came up with:
• Describe your drink in 4 words or fewer.
• 3 words or fewer if any of the words are Italian.
• Extra points if 1 of the 4 words is “please.”

No Yes
Half-caf soy mocha with a shot of raspberry syrup Small black coffee
Tall extra hot double sugar-free vanilla latte Medium cappuccino
Grande iced fat-free caramel macchiato, no whip Decaf with cream, sugar

Note: the same principles apply in bars.  If someone is buying a round, don’t get fancy.

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